My Love For Telenovelas & Santa Diabla

Okay, for the past 2 or 3 years I've had a guilty pleasure, telenovelas. A telenovela is basically a Spanish-language soap opera, and I can almost never watch them because it's so hard to find them with English subtitles. But finally something wonderful has happened, Telemundo put english subtitles on their novelas.

This is my mood right now

I can't watch all of the ones on telemundo.com because if I did the small social life I have would come crashing around me, no I am starting with the one that interests me the most: Santa Diabla.

In telenovelas, everybody is smoking hot

Now you're probably asking (or not because you don't care) "Hey Madeline, why don't you watch English soaps instead?" Well my non-existent reader, let me give you some reasons:

1. Everyone in telenovelas are SUPER HOT (see above)
2. English soaps are always really slow pace and sometimes a story line will take forever, telenovelas move so quickly that if English speakers like me don't have subtitles, you don't know what the hell is going on. I'll admit, novelas are very confusing.
3. There is often better acting. True, actors in novelas are often very dramatic, but it's way better than the wooden delivery in General Hospital.
4. English soaps literally never end. Things are brought up over and over again because the plot just keeps dragging on. Telenovelas last usually only 6-9 months and always have a conclusive ending.
5. It doesn't matter how ridiculous the plot is, you'll never be bored.
6. Even if all the characters are ridiculous it's still fun to yell at them for their poor decisions. 

Now to recap Santa Diabla so far. I'm currently watching episode (aka capitulo) 11 as I'm writing this, but I can give a pretty cohesive plot summary. Like I said, novelas are confusing and basically everyone knows or is connected to one other. Oh, and watch out for

Obligatory Doctor Who gif

Santa (not of the Clauses) Martinez was married to Willy Delgado and they were ridiculously, disgustingly in love (it was actually really cute). But all that changes when Willy Delgado, a musician, starts working as a music teacher for the Daniela Cano. When he resists the really sexual assault-like advances of Barbara Cano, she has him thrown in jail for false allegations of abuse against Daniela (who Barbara blackmails with HER DRUG USE WTF KINDA MOTHER IS SHE to lie in court), and eventually her mother and brother have him killed. Whoa. Naturally, Santa is really upset about this because she knew the truth all along so she spends the next two years plotting her revenge.

This is Santa

Santa, now under the name Amanda Brown, has a new identity of a millionaire model. In reality, she's a nurse whose living with her sister-in-law/bestie Paula Delgado, who she has concocted revenge with, and her now mute son Willy Jr. I'm very concerned for this kid for so many reasons. "Amanda" has caught herself a man, the murderer of her husband, Humberto Cano. Yes, his name is seriously Humberto. He is the brother of the narcissistic child neglector Barbara Cano. Their parents are Gaspar and Francisca. Gaspar seems like he's not that bad but Francisca is seriously a Lady Macbeth type manipulator. She's so evil yet I respect her on some strange level. Santa is going to marry Humberto and take each of them down. Before her wedding she goes with Willy Jr. to visit her husband's grave, when Willy Jr. runs off and is almost hit by a truck before a handsome stranger rescues him. Amanda and Stranger make googly eyes at each before he drives them back to her and Paula's house. Later at the Cano house, Amanda is ready to schmooze with enemy before she runs into the Stranger! That's right, it's the long estranged Cano sibling, Santiago Cano.

That's how unsurprising that plot twist is

That's all for now folks. Further, random thoughts though:

1. I feel bad for Daniela. I really do, because her father's a gold digging alcoholic, and her mother's a self-obsessed nymphomaniac who can't take rejection. Both parents don't give a shit about her (they literally don't know where she is half the time), it's amazing that her attitude problem and drug addiction are her only two faults.
2. Hortensia is Francisca's best friend. Hortensia is Satan. I'm not kidding; she smothers her grown-ass son, is a horrible racist, and freaking KILLS THE PUPPY that her son's black friend (and secret girlfriend) gives him.

I can not make my hatred more clear

      3. Paula is the best pep talker. Seriously, when Santa/Amanda gets all sad and doesn't know how to go on, Paula knows the perfect balance of "I feel you girl" and

         Santa picked the right girl to plot revenge with. Paula is awesome.

That's all my thoughts for now, even though that's basically only one episode of summary. Let me know if you want more, and even if you don't, I'll probably keep doing it if I feel like it. Madeline out.